Personal growth
Parenting is hard, we essentially go in blind folded navigating our way through the constant changes of our child’s development adjusting and shifting with each milestone.
The parent we were when they were two is vastly different to the parent we become when our children are 14! Our beautiful innocent babies turn into strong independent beings with their own opinions and ideas to match on how things should be and sometimes they don’t match up to our own opinions and ideas! So what do we do then?
Going into battle gets you nowhere, instead it can cause, anger, frustration and a shut down from your child, this is especially apparent in the teenage years. It is important in these situations to ask yourself questions like “ What is really going on here?” “Is this about me or them?”
Understanding our own triggers as parents is paramount to building strong, trusting connections with our kids, showing them it’s ok to be wrong, it’s ok to be sorry, it’s ok to own our stuff.
Our kids are watching our every move modelling our behaviours, it’s one thing to tell them what to do but are we projecting the same behaviour? Our kids can often trigger feelings in us that we don’t expect, while we can’t control how we feel we can certainly control how we react. How can we expect our children to regulate their emotions if we can’t? As parents it is our responsibility to seek healthy ways of dealing with our feelings of stress and sensitive triggers with a good therapist or practitioner. Exploring our triggers to gain a deeper understanding about ourselves and our emotions is essential for not only our own wellbeing but our kids as well. More importantly keeping the lines of communication open at all times, talk about feelings, how big they are, what colour they are, where they sit in the body.
Allow your child to explore their feelings and why they are feeling this way, the more we talk about real things, we are open to trust, love and a sense of belonging, essentially a beautiful solid foundation that will last a lifetime. After all, isn’t that what it is all about?